Food Fiasco
by Mistercokehold8
Summary: The Fazbear gang become a little fed up with just Pizza everyday.


_**Hey guys! Allow me to give you a little info on myself. I write mostly for the Sonic fandom but decided to gve FNAF a shot. I love the games but cant get past Night 3 in FNAF 1, refuse to play FNAF 2 due to how hard it is and cant for the like of me get past Night 2 in FNAF 3. So please forgive me if the characters dont act how you would think they would act.**_

_**So please sit back and enjoy!**_

* * *

'_Somethings wrong.'_ Michael 'Mike' Schmidt had not only defied the odds by surviving the first few days at his job, he spat in the face of impossibility by coming back week, after week, after week until he has managed to hold on to his job for an unprecedented 3 months. To most people that's not a big achievement; to Mike it was. He was the Night Guard at the most popular Pizzeria in town; Freddy Fazbear Pizza, and making it six hours meant he would at least have one more day on this earth. Mike glanced at the tablet in his hands_. 'Come on, where'd you guys go?'_ He thought to himself.

This wasn't like them to just up and disappear all at once. His job was simple: stay in the building from midnight to six A.M. to make sure no one broke in and ransacked the place. At least, that's what he was told. Mike had the sneaky suspicion that his real job was to keep an eye on the only four inhabitants of the restaurant. The animatronics that entertained the children during the day…..and tried to kill him at night, at least for the first week or two. They still attempt to put an end to him but have since toned down on how hard they try.

'_Even Foxy left Pirate Cove but I don't hear him coming.' _Mike was ready to pounce on the door controls in case the four decided to bum rush the door. He checked every camera on the tablet, Bathrooms, Backstage, Stage Area, even the two hallways next to him and the closet in left hall was empty. That only left the kitchen. _'No chance they could all be in there, is there?'_ Mike thought to himself. He clicked on the kitchen icon and only saw pitch darkness. He's worked here for three months and his boss still didn't have the time to have that camera repaired. At least it picked up audio, and he was hearing something. _'Whispering?'_ Mike could just barely make out words.

"...tired of this..."

"...all we got..."

"...what choice..."

"...Yarr..."

"There you guys are. What are you up to?" The night guard muttered to himself. He continued to listen in on the conversation.

"...get him." Mike heard the kitchen door open and close. Checking the right hallway on the tablet, he found one yellow chicken staring right into the camera. He panicked and slammed the button on the door, shutting it in place. Looking at the tablet to make sure none of her friends could flank him from the other hallway, Mike heard one sound he has never heard in the months he's worked in this place.

'**Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.' **

Someone was knocking on the door he just closed, and he knew there could only be one figure on the entire planet who would be doing that right now. Cautiously Mike pressed his ear against the door.

"...Hello?" He asked, feeling rather foolish.

"Hi Mike." Yep, that was Chica; Mike was sure of it. "Could you open the door please? Me and the others want to talk for a minute." The chicken's voice came off muffled through the metal door. This wasn't the first time Mike has exchanged words with the animatronics before, but those were usually a sentence or two.

"How long is it gonna be before you guys give up?"

"We don't want to kill you right now. We just want to talk for a moment, I promise."

"How do I know Bonnie or Foxy isn't coming up the other hallway right now?"

"Check the cameras." Putting his back against the closed door so he could lunge forward to shut the other if needed, Mike looked down at the tablet. Sure enough the other three animatronics were standing in the party area, staring up at the camera. Something was very off about this; they never wanted to just talk to him. "Mike, either you come out here or Freddy could come in there. You know he can, closed doors and all."

'_Damn why does she have to be right?'_ Mike thought. "Alright fine, but could you at least back away from the door first?" Mike pressed his ear against the door as silence came through. Then he heard the sounds of footsteps moving away from him. _'Well, it's been fun.'_ He thought to himself as he pressed his hand against the button, opening the door. Armed with the camera tablet and flashlight, Mike stepped out into the hallway, where no night guard who's worked at this hellhole would dare go. He shined the light down the hall, eliminating the darkness that surrounded him. "Is it too late to go back inside?" He muttered to himself as he ventured up the hall and into the party room. Two minutes ago all four animatronics were here, but now they had vacated the area. They could be anywhere and this time there weren't any doors to stop them.

He checked the tablet, only for static to fill every camera. "Stupid piece of junk, come on!" Mike growled, smacking the side with his hand. The camera cleared, but it showed Mike was no longer alone. He turned 180, shining his light; before falling to the ground into a panic. Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy now stood right in front of them, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Would you shine that light somewhere else?" The rabbit animatronic had his eyes covered.

"S-s-sorry." Mike lowered the light to the floor. To his horror Foxy moved forward and yanked him up onto his feet.

"We just want to have a little chat with ye." The pirate dropped Mike into a chair across the table from the leader of the bunch.

"Look if you guys are gonna do this...can you make it quick and painless?"

"Mike...we have a favor to ask of you." Freddy said. The guard cleaned out his ear, just to make sure he was hearing right.

"You guys want a favor...from me?"

"Are you as deaf as a post?" Chica asked, a little grumpy.

"What's her problem?"

"Well you see...the four of us have been here for many years." Freddy began. "During that time we need to keep our energy up when we're putting the exoskeletons back into their suits." Mike didn't dare tell them those weren't exoskeletons. At least they knew he was human. "And what do we do to keep our energy up? Eat."

"But you guys are animatronics. How can you even eat?" Mike asked. Foxy leaned across the table with his eyepatch up.

"Ye really want to know that yad?"

"No I do not." Mike said terrified.

"Anyway the only food source here is mainly pizza...and well, to be honest..."

"We've grown sick of the stuff." Bonnie said. "And since we don't want it anymore, we're getting hungry."

"No wonder you guys are cranky." Mike muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing!"

"Now even if we wanted something else to eat we just can't walk out the door. That's where you come in." Freddy explained. "We'll cut you a deal; when you come in the next few nights bring us something other than pizza so we can find something to replace it. Do we have a deal?"

"And let's pretend I was to say no..." Mike said.

"We have a spare suit in the back..."

"Deal."

* * *

**Night 1.**

* * *

Midnight had come the next night; the animatronics were sitting calmly at the table waiting to see what Mike had brought in.

"Ok guys." Mike sat several paper bags in front of them. "I thought I see how you would like some McDonalds."

"Is that the restaurant with the clown?" Chica asked.

"Yep."

"Give me the willies." Mike sat out Quarter Pounders, Double Cheeseburgers, Big Mac's, Daily Doubles and McRibs in front of the Fazbear crew. The four stared at their food with the looks of curiosity on their faces. Bonnie started poking one of the sandwiches.

"They're not gonna bite you know." Mike said. Foxy pierced a Big Mac with his hook and began eating off that.

"A little greasy for me liken, but tis not bad." Mike stared as soon the table was littered with wrappers and empty paper bags.

"Well?"

"Hmmm…..could be worst." Freddy said.

"Those ribs are sitting well with me." Bonnie said clutching his stomach.

"I don't even wanna know." Mike said, disturbed at this.

"Better try something else Mike." Chica said, helping with the cleanup.

* * *

**Night 2.**

* * *

Mike decided to try something a little fishy. "Ok you guys this food comes from Long John Silver's."

"You have me approval!" Foxy said, holding his hook and thumb up happily.

"Brought you guys about a dozen combos of fish, shrimp, clams, and crab cakes." Mike said, sitting the combos out.

"Where's the icing go?" Chica asked, looking at a crab cake.

"It's not that kind of cake." The crew went about their business of eating the fish that laid in front of them. Foxy went to picking at whatever teeth he had left with his hook. "So…."

"I be all for it." Foxy said happily. The other three turned to Mike.

"We'll pass."

"I outta make you three walk the plank!" Foxy growled. Mike scratched his head, thinking on what to bring in next.

* * *

**Night 3.**

* * *

"Ok you guys, tonight I thought I would bring in something with a little spice to it." Mike began laying out various tacos, burritos and nachos in front of the animatronics.

"Taco Bell?" Bonnie asked.

Why not? People can't get enough of it." The group went to eating their Mexican meal eating loudly and not caring if they were messy or not. "Do we have a winner?" Mike asked.

"I liked it." Bonnie said, cleaning his face.

"I'd eat this again." Chica said, cleaning her hands.

"Not as good as Long Johns, but I didn't mind." Foxy said. Freddy let out a loud belch.

"I'll take that as a yes." Mike said, throwing the trash away before returning to his office. It hadn't been twenty minutes when he noticed the animatronics had gone missing again. "What now?" Then he heard a commotion coming from the restrooms. Arming himself with the flashlight, Mike went to see what was up, but the smell hit him first. "Whoa….." Mike said covering his nose. "How many burritos did you guys eat?" Freddy stuck his head out.

"Too many…." He groaned, before going back in.

"I take back what I said earlier!" Chica's voice echoed from the ladies room.

"Again, I don't wanna know how you guys can even go!" Mike said disturbed.

* * *

**Night 4.**

* * *

The animatronics were actually beginning to lose faith that Mike would bring them something that they all liked. That didn't stop Mike however.

"Ok guys, dig in." The guard sat several red and white striped buckets in front of the group. "KFC." Chica pulled something out of the bucket and bit into it, bone and all, before holding a thumbs up to her friends. The group then went to tearing their dinner apart. "I got something to do in my office, I'll be right back." Mike went to his office and filed some paperwork before returning to find all the buckets empty.

"Think we have a winner here lad." Foxy said rubbing his belly contently.

"Absolutely." Bonnie responded.

"Mike, what's KFC stand for?" Freddy asked, curious.

"Oh, Kentucky Fried Chicken." The animatronics jaws dropped before they turned to the chicken in the room. Mike watched as Chica eyes bulged out of her head, before she scrambled out of her chair in a panic and rushed to the bathroom.

"You are a sick man Mike!" Her voice rang out from the bathroom, along with the sounds of vomiting.

"Again….how?!" Mike said, wondering how could she get sick.

* * *

**Night 5.**

* * *

"Why can't we just go back to eating pizza?" Chica asked her friends, the memories of last night still fresh in her mind.

"You're the one who wanted something different." Bonnie said.

"We're gonna tough this out wench." Foxy said, before Chica smacked him for that comment.

"We'll give Mike tonight to bring something we like." Freddy said. "If he can't, we'll go back to our pizza." At that moment Mike came in the door with a brown paper bag.

"I got something different for you guys tonight."

"Where did that bag come from?"

"Oh this didn't come from a restaurant. My dad goes on hunting trips from time to time and he gave me this as dinner earlier." Mike then put in front of them an animal that had been skinned and cooked. The four looked at it, disturbed.

"What is it?"

"That Chica is a hare."

"What's a hare?"

"Rabbit." Bonnie fell backwards in his chair, smacking the floor hard with his eyes rolled up in the back of his head.

"The lad's fainted." Foxy said after examining at the animatronic rabbit.

"Guess you guys won't eat this either." Mike put the cooked rabbit back inside the bag.

"You know, we been discussing it Mike." Freddy said, getting the guards attention. "We've decided that we're perfectly content with eating what we have here."

"We'll leave you alone for the rest of the week. Just PLEASE don't bring in anymore food!" Chica pleaded. Mike tucked the bag under his arm and thought about what the four just said.

"Alright then; you guys have a deal." And with that the guard returned to his office as the animatronics went about trying to wake Bonnie up.


End file.
